Wonderful Counselor

 I can't believe how long it's been since I had a chance to blog!  I miss it!  I've been so busy with school that I haven't had anything left in my brain to say....  BUT I've been thinking about this since our pastor talked about it in church today.

He brought out this picture...

He was talking about how Jesus is our "wonderful counselor".  (Which is so incredibly true and something I've experienced)  Cool picture isn't it?!

He asked a question about it that stood out to me.  He asked, "What do you imagine Jesus was saying to this man in that moment?"  Of course, I imagine every single person in the church was thinking through a totally different hypothetical conversation.  I'm sure each person's imagination led them to a conversation about whatever hard time they have recently encountered and how Jesus would comfort them through it.

The whole thing played out a little differently in my head though.  I was trying to imagine what he might be saying if I was in that chair.  I heard nothing...  That's weird isn't it?  Well I've thought about it ALL day.  I started praying about it.  God what are you trying to say to me in the SILENCE I hear in this IMAGINARY CONVERSATION... ;)  You know what's cool?  I immediately felt a VERY NOT SILENT answer to my question about the silence.  God is so cool...

"The peace that comes in the really difficult times comes from simply being in His presence!"  It's not just about all the amazing things He says.  All of the wonderful, beautiful, precious, priceless things He says to us to counsel us through heartache, are extra!  The only thing that is required sometimes to experience that "peace that passes all understanding", is to sit quietly in his presence.  So, tonight when I imagine this scenario, I imagine myself sitting quietly with Him, my wonderful counselor, and all the mess that overwhelms me, disappears...

Tommy is 61!

Today is my Daddy's Birthday!

My Daddy is such a precious man!  I love everything about him.  

I remember when I was little, I used to be mesmerized by how he could whistle.  One day I was in the driveway with him while he was working on the car.  I asked him to teach me and he stopped to show me how to hold my mouth and by the end of the day, I was whistling like a champ. I could do it like him and I thought I was special...  He made me feel like that all the time... special...

My dad was a hard worker when it was time to work, but when he was home, he was totally present. I never felt that his affections were divided between us and anyone or anything else. He was committed, constant, protective, kind and hilarious! He joked with us all the time and I loved being with him. He coached our softball team until we were tired of playing, he brought his big ol video camera (you know the ones with the microphone on the front?! ;) ) and recorded every gymnastic routine I ever did and was there when I cheered in high school.  He always encouraged us to try any new thing we thought might interest us, convincing us we would be great at it. He would have done anything for us.  I knew it then and I'm even more sure of it now.   He led our family in a dedicated pursuit of the Lord and by his example, we saw a daily picture of what the love, faithfulness and mercy of a Heavenly Father might look like.  

He also loved my mama in front of us.  Do you know what a big deal that is?  He gave my sister and me a great gift by letting us see him love her every day. I never wondered from day to day, what my life would look like.  There was an awesome feeling of security growing up in my house.  My daddy set a standard for us and made us confident enough to be picky about the men in our lives.  He treated us like we were worth so much.  I learned early that I could count on him and he's never let me down.    That's who my Daddy is;  loyal, committed, dependable... AMAZING!

I love you Daddy!

Our Thing

 I wish I could paint a portrait of my night last night. ;)

 At one point I just stopped to look around and this is what I saw...  I was sitting on my couch covered with my favorite blanket.  The Texas Rangers were on our TV and they were scoring one point after another in the last playoff game of the season.  A win solidified that WE (yes WE ;) ) are World Series Bound!  Jack was sitting on my left side and was leaning his head on my shoulder and talking non-stop about every awesome play made by his favorite Ranger, Josh Hamilton.  He was so excited and smiling from ear to ear!... Will and Wes were sitting across the room from each other laughing and arguing about which player on the Rangers is actually the best.  They were arguing but were totally happy and bonding over the moment...  Ben was sleeping quietly and didn't even move when we would scream to celebrate an awesome play.  Scout was curled up on my lap, occasionally looking up to make sure I still knew she was there.  She excitedly wagged her tail every time we cheered like she knew exactly what was happening!  John was on the other side of me and I realized that we had been holding hands on the couch for so long that my fingers were asleep...  but I wouldn't let go for any reason!  I'm so incredibly in love with him and I can feel how much he loves me and nothing is more safe than that feeling.

Don't you love those moments when you can not imagine another place, another person or another activity that you would trade your current surroundings for?!  Those moments where you, out of the blue, notice that the joy in your heart is about to make you explode?!  They aren't moments you plan or try to set up, but they just happen like they are an actual gift God has wrapped up and dropped in your lap.  Last night was one of the most perfect nights of my life... and I spent it in my pajamas! ;)

I posted on Facebook yesterday, a quote by Billy Beane from the movie Moneyball 
~"It's hard not to be romantic about baseball."  I love this quote.  It's so true for me.  The romance has nothing to do with the actual game or the players.  It's romantic and wonderful to me because my family, made up of 5 guys and me, with big age gaps, have found that thing that excites us all.  We love to go to games, to watch games on TV and to talk about the players that we all know and love...  Baseball is romantic because it's "our thing" as a family.

I'm so excited the Rangers are going to the World Series!  That means a few more games and a few more possibilities for nights like last night...   Thanks Rangers...  Thanks God...

Oink, Oink... Smile!

I know some people who seem only to eat because they have to and because of that, they make good, healthy choices about what they are consuming. I, on the other hand, eat for a million reasons other than the fact that it's required for life. As a matter of fact, embarrassingly enough, in my mind it's one of the joys of living life. Thus, a constant battle to lose weight, not drinking enough water and feeling way too full sometimes, are issues that I deal with.



Maybe part of the problem comes from the fact that I live in a town where the entertainment available is limited to going to the movies, a bowling ally, shopping and going out to eat. Well, here's the deal with those choices... There aren't often movies playing these days that are anything but trash, I stink at bowling and shopping requires me to spend waaaayyyy too much money. So, the city of Texarkana is forcing me to eat! ;) HA!



It amazes me how much my mood can change because of some type of food or drink. It's kind of pathetic! Ok, it's VERY pathetic! I drive into Starbucks grouchy, get to the window where the most precious and friendly lady is greeting me and giving me my coffee, and after one sip, there's a big stupid grin on my face! KARA!!! GET A LIFE!!! That lady is not my friend! She's paid to be nice to me! And that coffee is gonna be gone in 5 mins! AND it cost WAY to much! I'm supposed to be a smart person, but I'm overtaken and turn into a swooning idiot over a dang cup of coffee!!!



I have a problem. I know it, but I'm obviously not willing to do anything about it. I don't enjoy salads with leaves that look like they came off the shrubs in the front yard, boring grilled chicken breast or water "with lemon". I want spaghetti with meatballs, brownies, cheese on almost anything, everything my mom cooks, pancakes with syrup and the list could go on for days! I'm out of control...



But, does it make you judge me any less to know that I've been going to the gym in the mornings at 5:30?! BTW, this blog brought to you courtesy of the most delicious sandwich made from left over roast I cooked a couple of days ago... I'm full and I'm happy.

Partial Progress

 A simple point from my reading today in my Learning and Behavior class, was about measuring learning.  It said "a reduction in errors" is one way used to measure learning. I realized pretty quickly when I read it, that I don't normally give "reduction in errors" much weight when I'm judging other's learning accomplishments. I've always been a pretty black and white type of thinker. It's been a goal of mine over the past couple of years to try to see the gray in the situations around me. I'm pretty quick to see partial progress as no progress at all. If I tell my kids not to do something that is a habit for them and they change their behavior for a while yet eventually slip up, I usually judge too harshly. I need to realize that their "reduction in errors" is proof that they are learning what is expected of them.

BTW, on the other hand, if I'm judging my own learning on a certain topic I'm quick to give myself credit for my "reduction in errors". ;) 

My Hero

 I'm pretty sure that if the Bible was being written today, the New Testament books would look like this; Matthew, Mark, Luke, John & Mamaw...

Mamaw, AKA Mary England, is John's mom's mom.  She is the most amazing woman I have ever known in my life.  Since the Bible is a guide book for how we are supposed to live our lives, I think the book of Mamaw ;) would have to be included.  It could have been written about many different themes to teach us a multitude of lessons...  Un-moveable faith, Compassion, Intercession, Grace, Mercy, Hearing the voice of God and the list could go on and on...  I'm telling you this woman is the picture I see the moment I begin to imagine what I want to be someday.

She is a small, soft spoken lady, who by site you would think is weak and timid...  Nothing could be further from the truth about her.  She will stay awake all night to pray one of her kids through a tough time and she doesn't take no for an answer.  I imagine God smiles a huge smile every time she calls His name.  She is one of the toughest, strongest and most steadfast people in this world.  I know, as a family we are all convinced that our lives have been shaped, spared and enriched by her prayers.  It's almost to the point that it is intimidating to imagine a time on this Earth without her covering.  She is incredibly precious to me and all those who know her.

I'm not naive enough to believe that she has no flaws, but I have NO idea what they might be. I have been a part of this family for over 17 years now.  Every minute of those 17 years I have seen nothing less than beautiful and wonderful.

She has always been the most amazing cook.  She has ruined me to Chicken & Dumplings from any other source.  Hers are the best!  She saves each year to be able to buy something special at Christmas for EVERY SINGLE GREAT GRANDCHILD and in this fertile family, you are talking about more than 20 kids!  She also tries very hard to remember every child's birthday and that's the kind of thing that has always made my kids feel so special not to mention the grandchildren, in-laws, her kids and Papaw.  We are beyond blessed to have her in our lives.

Mamaw is sick right now.  It reminds me that she won't always be around.  As I write that sentence, my eyes are overflowing with tears.  I can't imagine not having her.  She will probably never know what she has meant to me, but I'm saying it now...  even though the words I know, can't do justice to express what I feel.  Mary England is my hero.

Faith

"God rejoices when we manifest a faith that holds Him to His Word." - Smith Wigglesworth

 Faith has always been a topic that I was sure I didn't have a real grasp on.  I guess this was partly because I had never found myself in a situation that required me to believe for something specific.  I thought faith was just believing God would listen to my prayers and would do what was best for me... I no longer think it's that simple. I think that's more a trust in God than it is a faith in Him.  I know it's seems like the two are sort of the same thing, but I don't think they are.  We are given scriptures like Romans 8:28, that says "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them."  To me, this is a perfect verse to show us why we should trust God, but it's not really the same as standing on a promise and not being satisfied, with anything less than that promise being realized in our lives.  When I first read the quote at the top of this post by Smith Wigglesworth, I immediately started crying.  I think it made the whole topic so much clearer to me at a time when I really wanted to believe God was going to do some big things on my behalf.  It proclaims in such a great way, the permission and even the challenge God gives us to hold Him to His Word and allow Him the opportunity to show off His love, mercy, power and kindness to us.  


It's not supposed to be confusing I don't think.  I have always over-complicated it because I did not feel like I was in a position to require anything of God.  I always felt like I was blessed just to be alive and to push God on anything more would be disrespectful and bratty.  However, I recently discovered a verse I'm not sure I had ever noticed before.  Isaiah 62:7 says, "Give the LORD no rest until he completes his work..."  The point is this... God said He was going to do something, so instructions were given to pray, stand, believe, hold-out and fight until that word from God was accomplished.  If He says He'll do something, then He WILL do it.  He loves seeing us relax in that knowledge and not let go of Him or his promise until it is finished.  


Does that always mean, He says it and then He does it, no matter what we do or say?  NO!  He shows us His best and it's up to us to push through to receive it.  Here's an example...  Imagine going to God in prayer and saying, "Lord, here is my question/burden/request...  God has an answer for you.  He says no sometimes, or sometimes he says wait and sometimes He says yes, I'll do that for you because I love you.  In the "yes" moments, what if He says "yes, I'll do that for you because I love you, BUT getting to the desired end is going to be long, frustrating and painful"?  It's then up to you to decide "I'm willing to endure for your best Lord" or you can say "no thanks Lord, I'd rather have good because it's easier than best".  When we choose to endure, believing God will do what he said, staying tough till the end, and not being swayed by what we see, is the definition of what I understand as faith....


I have sooooooo much to share about what I'm learning about faith...  I think, over the next couple of weeks, my blogging will be devoted to this topic...  That's all I'm going to say today... But, btw, I love hearing comments.  If you agree or think I'm nuts, I'd love to hear your thoughts.  I'm still learning so anything you wanna say is welcome.